I felt that there was no where I could go where I could truly be myself.
I was living up to some expectation of social normality such as playing football, hanging out in a bar drinking beer and playing pool, participant of everything, part of nothing.
It caused me a lot of distress. I thought I could not be happy, I thought because it was hard it must be impossible.
Whilst there is nothing good or bad with any of the activities above things they just were not me. I had not chosen to do them in my spare time, I had not listened to myself and asked well what do I want to do.
How do these things make me feel? What does it mean to fit in? Do I want to fit in and where?
I will be the first to admit I cannot do a lot of things, I am not good at a lot of things.
At Allsorts you can sit and chat and not be the greatest socialiser, you can make a picture and not be the greatest drawer. I am an artist and I make art. I take great pride in my skill as an artist. I encourage anyone to cherish the things that make you happy no matter how ‘voodoo’ it is, don’t fixate on what you can’t do.
Allsorts is a place where I can see a lot of kindness, respect and all the volunteers, workers and attendees I class as good friends. I needed that respect and kindness to feel comfortable to be myself. They take the time to find out how you are truly feeling and what your pronouns are.
I have received a lot of support from Allsorts and I want to give back by being a role model to anyone that is and has been unsure because it’s what I can do.
I don’t apologise for being slightly bonkers because I feel happiest and healthiest when I can be a bit off the wall.
I don’t apologise for needing help and support because I know that I’m worth supporting.
I don’t wait or try to make people like me because I spend time focusing on the people that do, and if that’s no one start with liking yourself.
Read, do anything, find someone with the life you want and do what they did.
I feel most alive on the dance floor, its like I am truly free.
I thought yesterday why not rap, who cares if it’s bad, I just have nothing to lose.
Check one, two