A to Z of Sex, Sexuality and Identity

A

Abortion: Operation or other procedure to end a pregnancy.

Abstinence: Choosing not to have sex.

Age of consent: The age the law states is legal for young people to agree to have sex. It is 16 for heterosexual and homosexual sex in England and Wales.

AIDS: Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. Someone with HIV may develop AIDS. It affects the immune system.

Anal sex: When an erect penis enters the rectum of a partner through the anus (also known as ‘bum sex’ ‘bottom sex’ or fucking)

Antibiotics: Drugs designed to kill bacteria.

Anus: the opening of the body where faeces (poo) comes out.

Arousal: becoming sexually excited in your body and mind.

B

Barrier methods: offer protection against pregnancy by preventing sperm from reaching an egg, e.g condoms, femidoms, diaphragm. Some barrier methods also help prevent STIs, e.g condoms.

Birth control: (another name for hormonal contraception) stops a pregnancy from starting by changing hormone levels in the female body, eg, the pill, implants and injection.

Biphobia: A fear and hatred of bisexuality and bisexual individuals. It may also be because people are ignorant of bisexuality. Bisexuality can be in the form of verbal or physical abuse or discrimination.

Bisexual: describes a girl or guy who’s emotionally and sexually attracted to both females and males.

Body Rubbing: When two people rub their genitals and bodies together for sexual pleasure.

Blow-job: When someone puts a man’s penis into their mouth to give sexual pleasure. Also known as oral sex.

C

Cervix: in a women’s body, it connects the vagina to the womb.

Cervical smear: an examination of the cervix by a doctor or nurse to find out if there are changes in cells that may need treatment; possibly cervical cancer.

Chlamydia: A sexually transmitted infection caused by a bacteria being passed on through unprotected sex. It often has no symptoms. Left untreated it can lead to infertility.

Circumcision: the foreskin of the penis is removed, usually shortly after birth, for religious or cultural reasons. In some cases adults get circumcised for health reasons.

Clitoris: part of the female genitals, it is a small, very sensitive organ, just above the opening to the urethra. Continued gentle stimulation of the clitoris often leads to intense sexual pleasure.

Coil: A contraceptive device that is inserted into the womb.

Conception: the fertilization of an egg by sperm in the fallopian tube followed by implantation in the womb. Condom: Condoms are made from thin latex (rubber) and are worn on an erect penis. They are rolled up and packaged in small plastic wrappers. Condoms offer protection against pregnancy and STIs by acting as a barrier.

Confidentiality: Confidentiality is when you can discuss medical or serious issues with a doctor or other professional worker without your parents or anyone else being involved or told. What you say will not go any further. Consensual sex: According to the law, any kind of sex must be consensual, which means that both partners must agree to it. See ‘Age of consent’.

Contraception: The word used for any method to prevent pregnancy.

Cunnilingus: Oral sex involving using your tongue or lips to give pleasure to a woman’s clitoris and surrounding area.

Cystitis: An infection of the urethra – not sexually transmitted, but can be caused by the friction during sex. Cystitis can also occur without sexual contact.

Cum/Come: A slang term for semen / ejaculation / orgasm.

D

Dental Dam: A piece of latex used as protection for oral sex. It is held in place and acts as a barrier between the vagina and mouth or anus and mouth.

Depo-Provera: A hormonal contraceptive method that involves an injection.

Diaphragm: A barrier contraceptive method made of latex and shaped like a shallow bowl, it fits over the cervix and acts as a barrier preventing sperm from entering the womb.

Discharge: A wet secretion or fluid from a penis or vagina.

Douching: Washing out the vagina or anus with warm water or a shop bought solution.

Dry sex: Doing everything you’d normally do with a partner when you are turned on, but with your clothes on – no genital contact.

E

Ejaculation: This is when semen shoots out the tip of an erect penis in a quick series of squirts. Orgasm usually occurs at the same time, though climaxing and ejaculating aren’t always at the same time.

Emergency Contraception: Usually 2 pills taken after unprotected sex (or if a condom split) to avoid a pregnancy from occurring. It can be taken up to 3 days (72 hours) after unprotected sex, but it will be more effective the sooner it is taken. Only to be used in emergencies – not as a regular contraceptive method.

Erection: The penis becomes longer, harder and stands out from the body. Erections happen when blood fills the penis, making it stiff, usually when the man is sexually aroused, but sometimes for no apparent reason.

Erogenous Zones: Areas on your body that are sensitive to sexual stimulation, places where it feels nice to be kissed and caressed. Common erogenous zones for both sexes are the ears, lips, neck, breasts, inner thighs and genitals.

F

Fantasy: Creation of the imagination – often in a sexual way.

Fellatio: Oral sex that involves kissing, licking, or sucking a penis (also known as ‘blow job’).

Femidomb: A rubber ‘sock’ that is inserted into the vagina and acts as a barrier to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.

Fingering: This means touching or exploring a female’s genitals with your fingers.

Foreplay: Things people do with each other before having sexual intercourse, such as kissing, touching, hugging. It does not have to lead to sex. It does play an essential role in preparing the body for sexual intercourse – guys get an erection and a girl’s vagina becomes lubricated.

Foreskin: This is the loose skin that covers the end of the penis, either totally or partially. All boys are born with a foreskin, but some have it removed (circumcision). It is important to clean under the foreskin regularly otherwise it may become smelly or it can become infected.

French kissing: This is when two people kiss with their mouths open and their tongues touching. There are very few infections that can be passed on through kissing. You cannot catch Chlamydia or Gonorrhoea from kissing.

Frenulum: The small strip of skin at the top of the penis, just on the underside that connects the foreskin to the head of the penis.

Frigid: A word to describe someone who does not appear interested or ready for sex. In this context it is a term of offence.

FTM: FTM is an acronym that stands for ‘Female To Male’. The term describes the direction of gender roles that a trans person acquires through transition.

G

G-spot: An area inside the body which is claimed to cause heightened sexual pleasure.

Gay: Another word meaning homosexual. Someone who is sexually attracted to people of their own sex.

Gender: Identifying a person as male or female.

Gender, Aquired: The gender role that a trans person achieves through the process of transition. It is also the legal term in relation to the issuing of a Gender Recognition Certificate which gives a trans person full legal rights in this gender.

Gender, Attributed: The gender and sex one is taken to be by others. This is usually an immediate unconscious categorisation of a person being a man or a woman, irrespective of their mode of dress.

Gender Identity: The gender to which one feels one belongs.

Gender Role: The clothing, characteristics, traits and behaviours of an individual which are associated with masculinity and/or femininity.

Gender Dysphoria: An anxiety, uncertainty or persistently uncomfortable feelings experienced by an individual about their assigned gender which is in conflict with their internal gender identity.

Genderqueer (collective):An umberella term for gender identities other than male and female.

Genderqueer (individual): A genderqueer person can believe they have a gender identity which is male and female, or neither male or female and lies outside the normal gender binary. Some would see themselves as being a ‘third sex’, while others believe they are gender less or agender. As a group they are united by their rejection of the idea that there are just two genders.

Genitals: The sex organs that you find between your legs. Also called genitalia.

Genital area: The area around the genitals – eg, around the penis and around the vagina.

Genital warts: A sexually transmitted infection. Small growths on or around the genitals caused by a virus. Gonorrhoea: A sexually transmitted infection.

GP: General Practitioner or Doctor.

GUM clinic: Genito-Urinary Medicine Clinic, this is where you go if you think you have an STI, are concerned about your sexual health, or would like a check up.

H

Hepatitis: Inflammation of the liver caused by a virus that can be sexually transmitted.

Herpes: A sexually transmitted infection that can cause sores.

Heterosexual: Someone who feels romantically and sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex.

HIV: Human Immune-deficiency Virus. It is a virus that lives in human blood. There is no cure for it, once someone is infected with HIV, they will always have it. It can be passed on through unprotected sex (not using a condom). HIV can progress into AIDS.

HIV test: A blood test to find out if someone has HIV.

Homophobia: A fear and hatred of homosexuality and of homosexual individuals. It may also be because people are ignorant of homosexuality. Homophobia can be in the form of verbal or physical abuse or discrimination.

Homosexual: Someone who feels emotionally and sexually attracted to people of the same sex.

Hormones: Chemicals produced by glands in the body that are present in the bloodstream. The main sex hormones are oestrogen and progesterone (in women) and testosterone (in men).

Hymen: A small, thin piece of skin that partially covers the opening to the vagina. It can be torn through physical activity, tampon use and if not before, will be torn at first sexual intercourse. Usually a small amount of blood signifies the hymen has been torn.

I

Impotence: Men who have an ongoing problem getting or keeping an erection are said to suffer from impotence.

Infertility: When a man or woman is unable to conceive a child.

Intersex Person: An individual who is born with ambiguous genitalia and may or may not be accompanied by various degrees of gender dysphoria. The condition may arise due to certain congenital disorders or hormone imbalances in the foetus or placenta. True hermaphrodites (having both types of gonads and ambiguous genitalia) are extremely rare.

Intimacy: Being close with someone.

L

Labia: This is part of a woman’s vulva. The Labia Majora are also known as the outer lips, these two spongy flaps of skin protect a woman’s inside genital area. The Labia Minora are the inner lips and found just inside the outer lips of the vulva.

Lesbian: A female that is sexually attracted to other females.

Love bite: When someone sucks hard on your skin (usually the neck) and the blood vessels break and will often leave a bruise.

Lubricant: (or lube) is water based gel to ease sexual penetration by the penis.

Lubricated: Having enough fluid / discharge to enable comfortable penetration and to ensure sex is not painful.

M

Masculine: This word describes characteristics and behaviours that are traditionally associated with being male.

Masturbation: Touching your genitals for sexual pleasure.

Menopause: When a woman finishes having periods and is no longer able to have a baby. In most women this happens between the ages of 45 and 55.

Menstrual cycle: A woman’s pattern of menstruation (having periods) is called her menstrual cycle. The average cycle is 28 days long and is measured from the first day of a period until the day before the next period starts.

Menstruation: (Periods) Once a month, beginning in puberty, the female body gets rid of the lining of the womb, this is when the female bleeds and it is known as menstruation or her period.

MTF – MTF is an acronym which stands for “male-to-female.” The term describes the direction of gender roles that a trans person acquires through transition.

Mutual masturbation: During this, partners use their hands to fondle and stimulate each other’s genitals.

N

Negotiation: Talking to make a decision – it might be whether to use a condom or not.

NHS: National Health Service

NSU: Non-specific Urethritis – a urine infection that can be sexually transmitted.

O

Oral sex: Kissing, licking, or sucking a partner’s genitals. (STIs can be passed on this way – condoms / dental dams should be used).

Orgasm: Intense sexual excitement and continued stimulation of the genitals often leads to orgasm. This is a series of uncontrollable muscle spasms that release ‘charges’ of pleasure all over your body. The intensity of the feeling can vary and can depend on your mood, the relationship with a partner or the source of the stimulation.

Ovaries: Women have two ovaries, one on each side of the womb. They contain the eggs. Ovulation: The release of an egg from one ovary.

P

Packing: Wearing a dildo, strap-on, or penile prosthesis. Sometimes used by female-to-male cross-dressers or transmen.

Peer pressure: Feeling pressured to do things (for example have sex) simply because your friends say they have or you feel you should just to impress them.

Penetration: When a penis enters the vagina or anus.

Penis: The male sex organ

Period: (Menstruation) Bleeding from the womb through the vagina, lasting between 4 – 7 days each month.

PID: Pelvic Inflammatory Disease

PMS/PMT: Pre-menstrual syndrome / tension. Women’s hormones change before a period, this may mean she feels emotional – sometimes moody or tearful, and may have other symptoms such as a bloated tummy, swollen or tender breasts and spots.

Pornography: includes books, magazines, movies and videos to stimulate or enhance sexual desire and feelings.

Pre-cum: when a penis is erect and excited, a clear or milky fluid sometimes appears at the tip. This can contain sperm, which means it is enough to get a girl pregnant or it is enough to pass on an STI.

Premature ejaculation: When a male ejaculates too soon or before he wants to.

Puberty: the period of growth during the last few years of childhood when the body goes through major changes and is turning into an adult.

Pubic lice: lice that live in the pubic hair – usually passed on through sexual contact.

R

Rape: sexual intercourse that is forced on someone without their consent (agreement).

Rectum: The passage connected to the anus.

Reproduction: Creating a new life – having a baby.

Rimming: Stimulating your partner’s anus with your tongue.

S

Safe sex: sex or intimacy where there is no genital contact.

Safer sex: sex where there is genital contact, such as anal intercourse, but where protection is used, i.e a condom. This is because condoms are not 100% effective, therefore it is only ‘safer’ as opposed to’safe’.

Sanitary towels: a soft cotton or plastic pad that soaks up the blood from a female’s period. They are changed at regular times.

Scrotum: the sac of hairy skin that hangs below the penis and holds the testicles.

Self-lubricate: Producing lubrication (liquid) for sex, i.e vaginal secretions (fluid) to make sex easier and not painful.

Semen: the sticky fluid that shoots out of the penis usually during orgasm. Sperm live in the semen (seminal fluid).

Sex: Short version of sexual intercourse – insertion of the penis. Can also refer to the biological identity of a person, i.e .’male’ or ‘female’.

Sexuality: How you express yourself sexually – what turns you on, what type of sex you have or would like to have. Trans people display the normal spread of sexualities – heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual etc. The sexuality of a trans person may remain the same or change through the process of transition.

Sexual intercourse: describes sex where there is insertion – i.e the penis enters the vagina or anus.

Sexual orientation: Who you are attracted to. This could be the same sex, the opposite sex or both and it may change over time.

Smegma: the thick, whitish substance that looks a bit like cottage cheese that can build up under the foreskin if it not kept clean.

Sperm: The reproductive ‘seeds’ that are produced in a man’s testicles.

Spermicide: a chemical that kills sperm.

Sterilization: a surgical procedure that makes people infertile (not able to have a baby).

STD: Sexually Transmitted Disease. Another term used to describe an STI.

STI: Sexually Transmitted Infection. An infection which can be passed on through sexual contact.

Straight: Another word for heterosexual. Someone sexually and romantically attracted to the opposite sex.

Syphilis: A sexually transmitted infection.

T

Tampons: Absorbent cotton tubes a woman puts in her vagina when she has a period to absorb the menstrual blood.

Testicles: Just behind the penis is a sac of skin called the scrotum. Inside the scrotum, side by side, are the 2 sensitive male sex glands – these are the testicles.

Testosterone: A male hormone produced in the testicles.

Termination: Another word for abortion. Operation or procedure to end a pregnancy.

The pill: A hormonal method of contraception (preventing a pregnancy).

Thrush: An infection caused by a fungus, can occur in the genitals.

Toxic shock syndrome: a rare and very serious condition that is caused by bacteria that build up in the vagina and eventually produce toxins in the body. Some research links it to tampon use in women.

Transgendered: A person who identifies as the opposite sex but does not necessarily change their biological sex.

Transition: The social, psychological, emotional and economic processes that a trans person undergoes to move from their assigned gender role into their chosen or acquired gender. The time this takes depends on the individual’s ability to embrace significant change in their life. If requiring genital surgery the individual will have to undergo a so called Real Life Test, i.e. living in their acquired gender role for a minimum of 1 year.

Transsexual Person: A person who decides to change their biological sex to match their gender identity – so they may transition and eventually have a sex-change operation (also known as gender reassignment surgery)

Transvestite: A person who dresses in the clothing of the opposite sex. Social transvestites cross-dress merely to feel more comfortable. The erotic transvestite cross dresses to achieve sexual gratification alone or with a partner. Transvestites generally cross dress only occasionally and do not seek hormones or surgery.

Transphobia: A strongly felt fear or prejudice felt towards transgender people based on their expression of a gender identity which is not seen as authentic by the transphobic individual. Transphobia can lead to discrimination, hatred and violence. It is distinct from homophobia which has its focus on the sexual orientation of the victimised person.

Transgender (collective): An umberella term used to include transsexual, transgender and gender queer people, transvestites and cross- dressers as in the ‘transgender community’.

Transgender (Individual): A person who like a transsexual person transitions – sometimes with the help of hormone therapy and/ or cosmetic surgery – to live in the gender role of choice, but has not undergone, and generally does not intend to undergo genital surgery.

U

Unprotected sex: Having sex without using protection, i.e not using a condom. Consequences may be a pregnancy or an STI.

Unsafe sex: sex where there is a risk of pregnancy or STI.

Urethra: the tube that carries urine out of the body.

Uterus: (or womb) this is where a baby can grow. Each month the lining gets thicker ready to receive an egg. If the egg is not fertilized, the uterus’s lining will come away – this is called a period.

V

Vagina: a stretchy tube that joins the womb to the outside of the body (in between the woman’s legs).

Vaginal discharge: the vagina is never dry. To keep itself moist, it produces a small amount of liquid that’s referred to as mucus or secretion, this liquid leaves the vagina and is therefore called discharge. Healthy discharge is clear or whitish. At certain times in the month, a woman will produce more discharge.

Vaginismus: a condition where the vaginal muscles go into painful spasm and the vagina closes when sexual penetration is attempted.

VD: Venereal Disease – the old name for STIs – Sexually transmitted infections.

Vibrator: A battery operated sex toy.

Virgin: Someone who has not had sexual intercourse.

Vulva: part of the woman’s genitals – it describes the area that includes the labia, the opening to the vagina, the opening to the urethra and the clitoris.

W

Wanking: A slang word for masturbation.

Wet dreams: When a man ejaculates when he is asleep. It is a natural part of sexual development.

Withdrawal: this involves the guy pulling his penis out of his partner before he ejaculates.

Womb: (or uterus) this is where a baby can grow. Each month the lining gets thicker ready to receive an egg. If the egg is not fertilized, the womb lining will come away – this is called a period.