27/05/12, Bisexuality – The Real Story

When people find out that I’m bisexual, the usual jokes surface: “Ha! More like greedy“ is common.

“Oh wow! Does this mean that you will have a threesome with me and my girlfriend?” is the one that is uttered most often from the lips of my straight male friends.  While I wouldn’t necessarily rule out the idea of a threesome, I most certainly would not classify myself as greedy.  As a matter of fact my love life is quite empty at the moment, so that busts that myth.

Whilst we are on the subject of myths there are many that surround bisexuality, some of which are associated with all LGBT people and some that are targeted at bisexuals alone.  Unlike the general misconceptions about LGBT people that are held by heterosexuals, the misconceptions about bisexuals are held not just by heterosexuals but by gay, lesbian and trans people too.   A project researching lesbian, gay, bisexual & trans lives in Brighton & Hove called Count me in Too found that:

• A third of bisexual people in Brighton and Hove had experienced discrimination from LGT people
• Bisexual people in B&H are more likely to feel isolated than lesbian and gay individuals and half of bisexual people said that experiences of discrimination and exclusion keep them isolated.

The thing that hurts the most is when people automatically assume that because I am bi, I’m not going to be satisfied with just one partner and that I’m more likely to cheat because I supposedly have double the amount of people I could hook up with.  In actual fact, research shows that bisexual people are just as likely to settle into monogamous relationships as anyone else.  Count me in too highlighted that 91% of bisexual respondents have already or would consider entering into a same-sex civil partnership as opposed to 79% of the overall sample.

Now, as a female, this myth isn’t as much an issue with men but it rears its ugly head quite often when I am trying to meet women. One particular incident stands out in my mind. I was having a drink with friends in one of the cooler gay bars in the city and got chatting to a gorgeous girl.  The subject of sexuality came up and when I told her that I’m bi she promptly got up and went back to her own friends.  Now that’s offensive!

However in no way am I saying that all the people I come across have this opinion, there are many people I know that hold the belief that as long as there is chemistry in a coupling it doesn’t matter what gender the other person is.  I’m truly convinced that sexuality is fluid and like a wise friend once said, it the hearts that matter, not the parts.

Written by Anika, a bisexual young person who attends Allsorts.

**The first Allsorts Bi Network group has been scheduled for Wed 9th May, 5-7pm at the Friends Meeting House.  If you already use Allsorts services feel free to come along.  If you haven’t used our services before please email info@allsortsyouth.org.uk, or give us a call on 01273 721211 and we’ll give you further details of the group and organise an induction with you prior to it**